Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Roller Coasters

So it's been a kind of emotional roller coaster of a day.
This is going to be pretty random but that's kind of how I feel today.
While the last week I have been so grateful for all I have, the last day or so I've been struggling with feelings of anger, frustration and letting things go. 
Mario has a family member who is always talking about us.  We are always hearing something catty they've said and  most of the time you just brush it off.  I have actually over heard comments myself numerous times when they thought I couldn't hear.
I've been told a few times about conversations they've had about Stella's birthday party.  They keep talking about why am I making such a big deal about it. The funny thing is they aren't even coming. Why should they care?  Why should they have feelings to begrudge a child a birthday party. If I want to throw her a circus, why do they care? It doesn't make any sense to me.  After the third person told me that they had been talking to them about it I was so annoyed. It's a completely hypocritical situation where relatives of theirs have events and make purchases beyond their means off of donated money. The ridiculousness of it just is ironic and annoying.  I hate hearing about people talk about how "religious" they are, then gossip and put other people down. Happens ALL the time in this situation. So I had started this ranting post (this is the mini version, let me tell you) when I got a call from Mario. 

Almost 3 years ago one of his oldest childhood friends died in unfortunate circumstances.  That kind of sounds silly, when is death not unfortunate.  Still a very sad situation.  Mario had grown up close to the family and after he passed Mario has stayed in touch with his brother who was a few years older. Mario took him out on the boat fishing numerous times and they would talk about shared memories.  They stayed in close contact and both were still hurt by the loss obviously.  The last time they went out he came in and had tacos with us around the table.  This morning Mario received a phone call that his brother passed away last night at not even 40 years old.  They think it was something heart related but don't know much yet.  It rips my heart out that these parents have now lost both of their boys within 3 years.  They were their only children.  I cannot even think about it for very long.  I only had met the parents once at the funeral, if I had never even met them before and did not know the family they would be heavily on my mind right now. It's just unfathomable to  me.
I deleted the catty post.  I am going to try to rise above the people that feel the need to make comments about their own insecurities and stay in that place of love for my family, those around me that do love and care for us and those who are hurting right now.
I'm still waiting for them to get back to me regarding my mammogram. Mom also finished treatment yesterday. 7 rounds of chemo and 33 radiation treatments. I'm feeling a little raw right now. 
Love each other and kiss your babies.
I'm sure there's more then one family that would give anything to be able to do that right now...
images via We heart it

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