Since Mario's sister has been in town we wanted to get some pictures of the "cousins". So one evening after dinner the girls and I went down to Alligator Point to mess around. Right as we got down there Mario called and said there was someone coming to look at my car so we only had about half an hour. At least we got some in and I think a few turned out really cute. We are going to take some more before they leave at McClay gardens so we should have at least a few for framing. We spent the weekend in Panama City when the first got here and I have a lot of great pictures coming up from the weekend!
So I had planned on writing about our friend Sharon from Nashville and how she was the reason Mario and I met. We haven't seen her in 4 years. We got to meet up with her a few weeks ago as she was in Destin. We met halfway and had some lunch and beach time. It was wonderful! While I was uploading the pictures Mario and I got into another discussion about Aubrey. I don't talk about that whole part much with anyone other then close family and friends. I have started a million posts only to delete them or never publish them. As his family would say, don't air your dirty laundry. I also don't think it's fair to discuss someone that I don't really have the right to discuss in public. Privacy and all. I can discuss my feelings on it though, I have just chosen not to. I choose to say nothing. Someone said to me recently, when we were talking about it, that it's my life too. It's been really rough lately. Hell, who am I kidding. It's been really rough always. It has been an uphill battle from the start. I see other blended families that seem to make it work and even thrive. I wish that was us, it would be a whole different story. No relationship comes easy, they all take a lot of work but it shouldn't be this hard for this long. I have a step mom and while I know I've had my moments of probably being a real jerk off, those are few and far between and long gone years ago. We could probably count them all on one hand. It wasn't consistently hard. My Step Mom and I have a great relationship and respect. I've even dated people before that had children. In 2 cases in long term relationships and had great relationships with the kids, one I even keep in touch with through facebook and she's now 18! Crazy! I don't think I have ever had this degree of difficulty getting along with someone, let alone a child. Although she is a young adult and not really a child anymore it hasn't made a difference. I get along with most reasonably well I would say. Yes, I know. I knew this going in. We all thought it was just jealousy over having to share her dad. It would pass. We would work on it. Then jealousy over Stella, again thought we would work though it. She would mature. We've been in counseling in 2 different time periods and I went by myself to cope. Mario wants us to go back again. He says we need to go back again. I am tired. Emotionally spun out on fighting about and with. I'm sure it is so hard for him. He has a hard time and acknowledges the difficulty in the situation but at the same time, you love your child unconditionally. I understand that completely and I always try to support, encourage and respect that relationship. Yet when things are said, and done I cannot just turn the other cheek and have that unconditional love between a parent and child. I am not trying to deflect 100% of the blame but this situation is not just between us. I am not the only one having a hard time. I've gone into more then I wanted and more then enough. It's emotionally draining. I just want peace. I'll probably never touch on it here again but sometimes you just have to release. Rock and a hard place.
We were getting ready to walk out the door and Stella said, "Wait Momma, I gotta get my purse!"
Friday field trip to the Gulf Specimen Lab
Watch out! Shark!
We went straight from the field trip to the beach!
Nice smile Stella Roo....cheese ball.
We found a sand dollar!
Then Bella came over to play for a while until the rain slowed down!
Sunday we went with Daddy to the beach!
He caught a Stingray. Scary looking little buggers.
Mario threw out the net and caught some little bait fish. Believe it or not Stella loves them. They are her pets. She moves them back and forth between buckets, puts them on the top of her sand castles & drops them in little tide pools then catches them again. Usually there's a few casualties from their playdates.
We've been busy playing. A lot. We've been going to the Friday field trips. We've been clocking some beach time. We've taken long walks exploring sea life and collecting shells. We've had play dates galore. Boy oh boy have we been eating watermelon. Oh and popsicles, lots of popsicles. We've gone to puppet shows. Craft time at the library. Hung out at the pool. All sorts of fun going on around here lately. Not to mention, we've finally had some rain! I think it was over a month with temps pushing 100 and not a drop of rain. It was hot, I was wilting. Any living thing in our yard was dying. Even with watering once a day. This week we've had afternoon/evening showers and it feels so good! Mario's sister and family arrive next week so I see lots more of the above activities in our near future!